Saturday, October 16, 2004
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i've got so much to blog that i dun even noe where to start..
had my grad day yest..it was ok la..the prayer service,the nyaa award presentation, the giving of our grad pins,folders blah blah..but i guess wat i enjoyed most yest was the time spent with my beloved class..we had abt an hr to write 'messages' on a piece of paper for everyone..i was reading mine on the bus home till i started tearing..i'm really gonna miss every single one of them..but i noe i'm gona miss my 'bird' frenz the most..the chicky bao,the swannie,the flamingo..haha..they really brighten up my life in cj..of course not forgetting jia hui,dia,.kristie,hanyi..my one and only dan di,benji,yusheng...sigh..they really make me smile..i've really enjoyed myself all these 2years(esp this yr)and i'll always keep the memories in my heart..
our class then headed down town to cine for lunch then we watched white chicks..it was damn funny la..i laughed so loud..aiyar,so embarassing..it's a real hilarious show..then the guys and gurls seperated..the gursl(me,swan,bao,jh and dia)went to nydc at wheelock for dinner..yummy..really love the food there..ate so much till i was so bloated..headed home to catch singapore idol..yeah!jerry's finally out!!wohoo!!
of course,we took sooooo many photos..hehe..juz love posing in front of the cam..
i duno..but i tink i'm falling in love again..i've never felt this happy for so long..no one but YOU has made me this happy before..except my gurlies..but no guy has treated me this way before..i feel like a little gurl all over again..like a little princess when YOU are around..YOU really make me feel so pampered, so gurlie..i feel really really really happy with YOU around..i duno wats this feeling but i really feel very special when YOU are with me..i really wish i can tell u all these face to face but i really duno wat i want from you or what i want myself..i told myself that i dun wana commit the same mistake again..i really wan to be sure this's wat i want..but i really really feel so happy with YOU..YOU'll go all out juz to see me smile,juz to make me happy..YOU are always giving in to me and making me happy..but i dun dare to say..i dun wana spoil our frenship juz like that..i'm scared this's juz a one-sided thing..i dun want YOU to go..i wan you to forever be by myside to make me feel so happy and so pampered..
but i'm juz scared la..i juz ended one badly and i dun wana start another way on the wrong footing..i wan to be sure YOU are the one..but as for now..i'll juz cont dreaming about YOU..juz thinking about you and dreaming about YOU makes me smile...as in really smile..:)..knowing YOU are always by my side for me makes my day..i dun need YOU to always be by my side..juz knowing that you care for me makes my heart skip a beat,makes me feel so loved..thank YOU!..thank YOU for everything YOU'VE done for me..for being there for me these few months,for constantly being by my side..thanx for making me able to love again...but then again,i duno if this's love..:)
the princess rambled on
|Saturday, October 16, 2004|
Thursday, October 14, 2004
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hehe..zao school today..act din wana go sch at all today but they say that if we dun produce an MC we wun get our cert and testimonial on fri..so lame..so juz went to school to tk attendance,cleaned the class abit and went home..ahhhh..feels good to be home..:)but the zao-ing part was quite scary..we(bao,swan and me) juz pretended to be J1s then we juz walked casually to do foyer..but we suddenly saw michael tan coming down the stairs so we faster u-turn to the library only to see issac lim inside but we juz pretended to hang ard there..then when the coast was clear, we faster walk out..but my heart was seriously thumping so fast,i thot it was gona pop out soon..haha..then the stupid 153 took sooo damn bloody long to come..me and swan waited for almost 1/2 hr..called bao only to find her on the way home and we were still stranded in the 'danger zone'...haha..then when we were abt the board the bus,we saw all our class people walking out..ong gak san's gona get a shock when he finds all of us missing for the spring cleaning and the talk..haha..some stupid scholarship talk..hey,but at least we cleaned the class before leaving..
tom's my grad day..having mixed feelings..feel really happy that school's finally over..gone are the days of wearing uniform and conforming to stupid senseless school rules..but i'm really gona miss my class..i use to think i wun miss my jc class coz we din really click in the first few months but subsequently,especially this year,we bonded so much that i'm really gona miss all of them..i'm gona miss everything..from going to lects,freezing in LT1,complaining abt all the teachers,wanting to fall asleep during wee's lesson,the 'chicky' stuff we do,the 'long marathon' run to the canteen for our favourite yong tau fu,the cab rides to town,all the bday celebrations,the cheerleading com that bonded us so close,the sweat and tears that we shared,all the crap that we shared tog..oh man..i'm starting to tear..im really gonna miss every single one!!we muz muz meet up like after As k??
listening to radio yesterday..someone called in to say that she'll miss her bez fren who's going overseas..then the dj said that as long as the person is in ur heart,he/she will never leave you no matter how far that person may be..i guess it's really true..even tho we might not be physically tog,spending time with each other i noe that my darling wei, my bimbos,my t25 class will always be in my heart..even as we go our sepearte ways to pursue our dreams,we'll always have the wonderful memories to fall back on and to smile about..these are the memories worth treasuring and remembering..
the princess rambled on
|Thursday, October 14, 2004|
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
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i use to think that love will overcome everything..cover up the obvious flaws of people..i use to set high standards for myself..but it was until u came into the picture..i let my "feelings" get in the way..i juz let go of everything and thought this was it..i'm a girl who needs someone who makes me feel secure,someone who knows what they want in life,someone who is able to stay in control of the situation however bad it may be,someone who can lead me in life and is able to handle me..i'm like a small girl who always wants her way so i need someone who is able to give in to me and yet be firm to sometimes say no..but he muz still able to let me feel that he loves me..someone who is able to melt my heart and let me feel loved again..i need someone who is matured enough for me to give my life to..someone whom i will want my kids to respect next time..someone who is able to juggle both me and his social circle of frenz to not let either side feel left out..someone who loves his family alot and puts his family as top piority..not the mummy's boy kind la..but i guess i mention before that if the guy really loves his family,he'll love me like he loves them..and i tink that's very important to me in a guy..someone who has both the masculine and the feminie side..but most importantly,someone who is abel to draw me closer to God at the same time drawing closer to each other..someone whom i can serve God with..
i noe u might tink that it's too early to say all these but this is wat i really look for in a guy..looks dun really matter to me..what's important is that i need to feel secure with him..someone who can really make me feel that he loves me..
thank [you] for making me realize what i really want..memories with you are indeed sweet and lovely but all these all too painful for me to keep..too heartbreaking for me to remember..sorry..i juz wana forget everything and start my friendship with you all over again..
the princess rambled on
|Wednesday, October 13, 2004|
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finally got the time to blog..our whole class like mass pon today la..some left after lects but the rest left befor gp..coz someone said that our tcher was not here so the *poof* we all juz went home..shall update on my week..
THURSDAY
went out with esther and emerson to eat at sakae..the one at wheelock..yummyilious..i juz love eating jap food..*rubs tummy*..then they gave me a mirror which they decorated themselves..so sweet..it's so nice..it's purple too..haha..then we headed to haagen das(hug-and-dance)to eat my chocolate fondue..hehe..it was not really fantastic but i still like it..the chocolate was very thick so u cant eat too much..headed home..tried to study for chem mock the next day but was too tired so went to zzzzzzz instead..
FRIDAY
nothing much..school as usual then had chem mock in the afternoon..din study at all then the paper was a killer..k b ong said it was vj's paper..*bleah*..no wonder la..
SATURDAY
had phy mock early in the morn..din study much tho..juz read thru the formulas only..then went home..cooked lunch for my kor..then had really bad cramps..was damn pain..even after i ate panadol,i still couldnt sleep and the pain din go off even after an hour..then called kor for help..he gave me a HOT water bottle..it was damn hot lor..and he gave me painkillers..the water was so hot that i forgot about my cramps..slept after that but when i woke up..my tummy was red..i tink it was cooked..then i shouted to my kor,"kor!you cooked my stomach!!"and he gave me that 'what-are-you-talking-about' face..haha..was damn funny la..then i went for yf..
yf was really good..i start to appreciate yf more now..i mean coz there's no distraction..like i can fully conc on the message..then i enjoyed the reflecting session..i mean it really gave me time to tink about why do i wanna sign up for membership in the first place?it has become such a routine that i neva tink much..God has really become very real in my life these few weeks..like it's all bcoz of Him that i can go thru all these and come out strong..i din use to trust Him in the past and i relied on my own strength to overcome it so i always end up failing and falling..but i truly thank God now that i've gotten over it and am able to start my life again..although i still have sooo many unanswered questions but i guess God will reveal all these in Him perfect time..Thank you God for always being with me all these while!
SUNDAY
thanx sam for the presents..really like the wallet and earrings..using them now..haha..i'll remember your treat la k?church as usual..but i had cramps again..daddy wanted to fetch my home but as i was waiting for him to drive the car over i felt abit better so i stayed thru the service..and i thank God i did coz i really found the message very enocuraging..went to mama house for lunch..so yummy..she cooked as though it's free..there were so much food..it felt like reunion dinner coz everyone was there but then again,it feels like that every sunday..haha..really love the warmth when my loved ones are with me..really enjoy and treasure the times spent with them..makes me feel like a little princess and little girl all over again..hehe..
although she feels so loved
she's afraid that all these will disappear
like how he disappeared from her life
she noes all good things muz come to an end
but she doesn want her loved ones to leave her
she has no choice but to build a barrier to protect herself
she doesnt really trust people anymore
she juz wana protect herself
even the one she thought was the closest to her
the one whom she thought truly understood her
the one whom she thought loved her deeply
was the one who ended up hurting her the deepest
like a knife slowly piercing her heart
all she has left are memories of them together
the happy times spent with him
but all these are too painful to keep
she is trying to forget everything
to erase all these from her mind
the princess rambled on
|Wednesday, October 13, 2004|
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
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bleah..haven blogged in eons..sorry...really din have the time..this week will be my last official week of blogging..after that it's off for some serious ass-kicking mugging..but i'll reply all the tags juz that i wun blog my personal life..wats there to write about anyway?wat i studied?haha..that's lame...my life will be revolving ard my studies from now till 25nov and nothing else..nothing's gona get in the way and affect my mood of studying..i shall update everything from fri onwards tom..time to makan..tata..
the princess rambled on
|Tuesday, October 12, 2004|
